Push

 I took hold of the horn of the saddle and hoisted myself up, for the first time in several weeks. The more time that passes between rides, the more apprehensive I am.He hasn't been good for me this spring. He has been acting like a young stallion. Many times I find myself downright scared.

 But tonight I took him from the pasture where he had already expended much of his extra energy. He was relatively calm. I gathered up my reins and said, (out loud and didn't care much who heard me)
 "I once galloped this horse across an open field. I once barrel raced with no fear. I once jumped fences with great joy. I can do this."

 We had a great first 10 minutes. We walked, we jogged. My lower back ached. I thought, OK, I don't want to push it. I don't want to hurt myself. What would my chiropractor say? That's enough for today.

 

But the kids were playing hide and seek in the wheat field, no chores awaited me at home, nothing was pulling me down from my horse but my own lack of self discipline.

 Mustering up all the courage I had left, I collected him and asked for a lope. He obeyed immediately and off we went.. An onlooker would not have noticed anything unusual. Plenty of young children can lope their horse. I was once one of them. But his, to me, was exhilarating.
 I had conquered my fear.

 ...backing up a couple hours:

 dinner was complete. bedtime was drawing near. I was faced with the decision of what will we do tonight.The answer is most always made unconsciously. Clean a little, watch a little TV, play on the computer a little, but nothing memorable.
Or give myself a push... "Whoever wants to go to the barn, get in the car!"
The do nothing evenings are also wonderful, and necessary.
 But sometimes a little (or big) push is needed to make a memorable moment.